Individual

The majority of our work at Aim Psychotherapy is in individual male therapy. Whether its in person or virtual, whether you work with one of us or some of us, we treat this 1:1 relationship as sacred.

  • Founded and helmed by Andrew Merrell, Aim Psychotherapy is a diverse collective of specialized therapists with an emphasis on working with men, young adults and couples. We believe very much in the chemistry of the clinician-client relationship and devote significant energy to matching you with the right therapist(s).

  • Meaningful therapeutic experiences depend on the powerful interpersonal relationship between the client and clinician. This is one of the many reasons that our therapeutic alliance will be an early priority in our work together. A deep and meaningful connection propels our efforts toward your goals.

    We work with men who are ready to face themselves, their past, present and future with courage and honesty; men who are prepared to take a closer look at their own reflection. In the pursuit of better answers about ourselves we cannot underestimate the power of asking better questions. We will be a proactive collaborative partner toward growing, expressing, exploring or resolving what you bring into therapy.

  • We believe passionately that our work in therapy can create new or renewed harmony between forces that may appear contradictory. Some people may experience conflict between seemingly opposing internal desires or drives. This can often be conceptualized by internal light and dark features of the psyche. A favorite quote, by the essayist Ben Loory, sums up beautifully an experience that I strive to facilitate for my clients; "Once there was a man who was afraid of his shadow. Then he met it. Now he glows in the dark." We will work toward your own unique illumination.

  • We will talk about your lived experiences, your relationships, your therapeutic goals and your struggles; while consistently prioritizing your specific objectives for therapy. Whether it is eight weeks, eight months or a couple years, a goal of therapy is for you to successfully transition out of the therapeutic setting. We will know when the time is right. We will work together to create a meaningful conclusion of our work together. 

Men

Unlocking, encountering and embracing our male identity starts with tapping into your awareness of your inner self and psyche, holding it up against the social construct of the modern masculine and modern feminine, holding reverence for the liminal and blended space between them, and making sense of the resulting contrast of internal desires and external expectations.

  • To look inward for answers about what makes you male, and what to do with what you find, takes patience, tenacity and courage. We will look across time (forefathers, philosophy, conquerors, tribalism), your current social ecosystem, your earliest encounters with masculinity and male-ness, and enhance how you see 'man' and how you desire to describe your own unique definition of a male self. 

    We work with men who are ready to face themselves, their past, present and future with courage and honesty; men who are prepared to take a closer look at their own reflection. In the pursuit of better answers about ourselves we cannot underestimate the power of asking better questions. We will be a proactive collaborative partner toward growing, expressing, exploring or resolving what you bring into therapy.

  • Old, young, middle-aged, masculine, feminine, nonbinary, overweight, athletic, skinny, muscular, heterosexual, heteroflexible, bisexual, pansexual, questioning, single, married, monogamous, consensual non-monogamy — the clutter and clamor of who we are, what we are or how we are is a perennial gauntlet of internal perception and external proclamation. Others want to define and confine us. We prefer to find liberation and optimize all that you have been, are now and may be becoming. At Aim Psychotherapy we seek to see the whole you and want to help you realize your fullest self. Self-actualization and integration of the whole self is often the most exuberant part of the partnership.

  • As men, we are often taught to take rather than give, to control instead of collaborate, to wage war and resist peace. This is nonsense. But it penetrates our young psyches and takes root. Today those same messages we got from a parent or our peers or a coach now comes at us from social media, competitive aesthetic physicality like narcissistic voyeurism and exhibitionism, rejection, materialism, and even gossip; the result is impaired intimacy. Within the modern male the existential opposite of war, peace, can seemingly only be achieved when our tasks of attainment are wholly complete. This system is more likely to erode us than to empower us. Because of the impossibility of feeling satiated, we as men are in a constant state of frustration, waging our wars unendingly (inwardly and outwardly) in pursuit of elusive 'peace' in the form of a kind of fullness that typically leaves us feeling empty instead. If we don't find ways to undo and unbind ourselves from the fallacy of perpetual warfare, we will be in a state of cyclical, unsatisfying hunger. 

  • Sports, whether its the NFL, your local crossfit gym, or a recreational dodgeball league, provides sanctuary, stimulation and satisfaction. Males depend on and thrive in socially interconnected conditions. This craving for connection can be fleetingly and superficially met digitally, but it is only when we are initiated into a tribe or create our own, with meaningful human contact, that we feel most powerfully whole, as one within many. Tribes satisfy our desire to be inspired by other men, physically connected with other men, and witnessed as men. Those powerful bonds can start within singularity, like male-centered therapy.

  • There are many myths about power that we struggle with across our lifespan. Emergent desires and conventions around control, prestige and power can dominate and distort our relationships to others, our relationship to ourself and warp our dreams and hopes into ambitions that are often more informed by the external world than by our own inner essential self. We will examine, understand and refine this internal thirst, toward a clearer and authentic articulation of more compassionate, honest and purposeful goals.

  • Some of our greatest frustrations as men - existential, mental, sexual and social - are direct results of repressing our need for love, approval, belonging, connectedness (physical and emotional), desires and passions, and a profound need for achievement. The act of repressing these needs/wants leads to conscious and unconscious frustration that can drive discontent, aggression, isolation anxiety, depression and addiction. These deeply held frustrations poison our understanding of self, our interactions with our brothers, our intersections with success, and our reactions to perceived failures. A central failing from our influences in youth can often lead to this repression — the instructions we are given overtly and covertly to sever the bond between our head and our heart; to live only in the thinking space (logic, decisiveness, rationalization, compartmentalization) and to divorce ourselves from the feeling space (love, loss, sadness, fear, anger, joy). Liberating and rejuvenating the heart, and repairing its connection to our whole self is vital…and that re-integration is exhilarating.

Young Men

The bridge to manhood is complicated and unique for every young man. We will meet you exactly where you are, seek to understand your experience, vision and internal world, and together determine how we can be your allies on the road ahead.

  • Every young adult comes into therapy with their own unique set of life experiences, developmental circumstances, capacities and willingness to meaningfully engage in therapy. It is critical to first assess and understand their unique attitudes, abilities and objectives in order to collaborate on mutually identified goals.

  • There are two key stages of therapy with young adults; short term and long term. In the short term, the young person and their parent(s) will work collaboratively to identify goals and objectives for immediate emphasis. This is often facilitated with family therapy or adjunctive parent(s) and/or sibling sessions. In the longer term, we will conceptualize and work toward larger life-affirming goals that are self-directed by the young adult. The goals and objectives in both the short term and the long term are as unique as they are. 

  • Like any powerful relationship in a young person's life, an early goal in therapy is to create and sustain safety, trust and honesty within the therapeutic experience. Our priority will always be their emotional and psychological security, their capacity and pace for change, and the development of healing relationships - both in therapy and in the home. Healing begins with these fundamentals firmly established. 

  • Whether facing anxiety, depression, trauma or other distressing developmental challenges, it is paramount to offer the young adult a chance to explore their own complexity with a potent balance of warmth and wonder. In therapy, our approach offers the young adult the chance to experience solution-focused collaborative work that strives to answer complicated questions about their presenting issues with a spirit of curiosity and empowerment. We will work to externalize the problem(s) in order to best assess and eliminate them. Our collective goal is to empower an internal revolution of thought and behavior, while maximizing their self-defined progression toward personal evolution.

    Often during therapy, issues that were not originally identified in the short term and long term strategies arise. This is a natural part of the therapeutic process, and any emergence of previously unknown questions or concerns are embraced as important discoveries toward even deeper healing.

    We believe that one of the goals of young adult therapy is for them to eventually leave therapy - and the conclusion process is just as important as it's commencement. It is a collaborative process, that includes and empowers both the parent(s) and the young adult toward a revitalized unity.

Couples

In our couples therapy, there are four in the room. The two of you, your relationship and the therapist. Its your relationship that is our client.

  • Each partner, just like each relationship, is unique. Your partnership is as dynamic as you are; composed of compromises, collaborations, collectivism and conflict. In couples work, it can be effective to work together using a multi-theory approach that combines aspects of family systems and object relations theories, narrative therapy practices, psychodynamic theoretical approaches, Imago, and EFT. Together, we will be thoughtful about understanding what ways of working together will be most beneficial for our goals.

    An additional benefit offered by Aim Psychotherapy is the ability for the couples therapist to interact collaboratively with other therapist(s) working with one or both of the individual(s) within the relationship. Thoughtful and strategic consultation that can impact the efficiency and transparency of the work can create powerful enhancements toward meaningful change. Our therapist(s) could also be in consultation with the partner(s) external therapist to maximize the experience.

  • Together we will explore the histories, joys, fears, senses and goals of each of you - including the relationship itself. By utilizing this perspective, we can embrace and honor the fluidity of the partnership. Assessing and accepting these aspects of a couple's relationship means we can use both a microscope and a telescope simultaneously to see, decipher and repair the dysfunction.

  • We will not start our work together assuming something is "broken" in the relationship but instead identify what burdens it. In all relationships, individuals come together to create a collective experience. Sometimes that experience can become blurred by expectation, assumption, conflict, miscommunication or blame. We will work to bring focus and clarity to the individuals that make up the partnership, shifting our perspective toward increased insight, clearer truth and opportunity for change.

    Couples therapy is often utilized as a frantic salvation. That tactic isn't always successful. What is more effective than a last resort is a thoughtful intention to increase the partners' attunement to each other. We won't "fix" anything, because that is a flawed objective. We will instead refocus awareness, understanding, communication and interactivity in order to increase how each of you see the other, the relationship and how you communicate.